Flicker of a Smile
by 10millionpeople
Summary: I’m so screwed up," she says, her voice barely audible, only an inch above silent. "I’m so, so screwed up.” I lower my voice as well, just to show her that I am level with her. “I know,” I say, and the tears begin to flow once again.


**A/N- So yeah, I'm back. And yeah, I deleted everything. But that's okay because I'm starting over in ficland, if you don't mind :) I hope no one does. Just to give you some background info, this takes place immediately after Day 8. This may turn into more and it may… not. I don't know, frankly ;) We'll just have to see.**

**Disclaimer- Really? Do you think that's I'd be writing **_**fanfiction **_**if I actually owned these characters? That's what I thought.**

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I hold my breath.

Why; I don't know. But I do. And despite that burning, searing pain in my lungs that comes with a minute or two of no air, I don't allow myself to exhale until the figure steps out of the car and onto the sidewalk.

In a matter of seconds I make out Renee's soft features, and the weight on my heart lessens a bit. She's dresses casually, but yet more formal than I would have thought her to be at this hour.

Wearing a pair of fitted jeans and a long, black pea coat, I watch her body linger for a moment by her car, then she's runs a finger through her loose hair, then she finally turns away from the vehicle. I chuff and stare in her direction, though it is possible for her not to see me.

But maybe she does.

Renee buries her face in one of her hands, and I see her shoulders shake slightly. She's crying. I retreat to farther into the misty background, and decide that, given she hasn't seen me yet, she won't until I think it's time

I know what she went through. God knows I went through heck also. But for me it wasn't as… personal.

But that's the past and the past can't be changed. If it could be, I'd be at home with Teri rather than trying to look out for a woman that doesn't even want help. As if on cue, she steps back into her car as my thought process ends, and I come out from behind the darkness, into the crisp Manhattan night.

There's a streetlight on the other side of the road, and I can just about tell where her driver window is. I tap on it.

She looks frightened at first, then relieved, almost, before starting the car and rolling down the window. Her eyes look as if she hadn't gotten any sleep all night. Then I remember that she hadn't gotten a chance.

"Jack what are you…" her voice trails off.

"Nothing. I was taking a walk and I saw you. Thought you may want to talk." My voice lacks emotion, and I mentally curse myself for that, because I'm throwing back at her what she's giving me.

She exhales loudly. "Oh, sure, yeah, why don't you get in?" I walk in front of the car to the other side and step in. "What's up?" she says.

I take a deep sigh and look her in the eyes. "You want to tell me?"

Her gaze drops to the floor but mine focuses on the back of her neck; where her eyes used to be. She is nonresponsive.

Slowly, her voice comes back and she stutters something along the lines of a "No," but it comes out more of a "Yeo".

At least she wants to say yes.

"Hey…" I say, and touch her shoulder slightly. "Don't if you don't want to. But I'm tired, so call me if you want to talk."

I open my door and am about to slam it shut when she cracks. "Jack, no… don't..." The tears take over.

As quick as I left, I am back at her side, her head on my shoulder, comforting her. "It's okay," I mutter softly into her hair-covered ear.

She gains her strength and rises her head up a tad, then looks at me, her gaze meeting mine. "I'm so screwed up," she says, her voice barely audible, only an inch above silent. "I'm so, so screwed up."

I lower my voice as well, just to show her that I am level with her. "I know," I say, and the tears begin to flow once again.

After another minute or two she wipes her eyes and speaks again, louder this time, but her voice shakes. "I'll drop you off at your house if you want; I… I don't want you to leave."

"Then I won't," I say. "Want to go back to your place? Kim and Stephen are in LA." I notice what appears to be the flicker of a smile, but soon the spark is gone and only a blank slate remains; an expressionless face.

"Yeah… yeah I'd like that." I grin at her, almost daring her to do the same, without it running away in two seconds. She doesn't return the smile.

Not yet.  
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**A/N- What'd you think? I'm open to anonymous reviews, so please tell me what you think :)**


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